I have been a college graduate for nearly a year now, and it seems almost humorous that the girl who used to blog about securing a job before graduating would only lose that job a year and a half later through a layoff. So now I’m back on the hunt for a new job, and I get to share in an experience that way too many Americans do—unemployment.
Currently I’m sitting on day #2, and I’m already going stir-crazy. So far this is what my unemployment has consisted of.
- Go to the bank because you can’t find your checkbook to put your routing and account information on your unemployment application.
- File for unemployment online while wearing pajamas and think about how you would have been sitting at your desk in pants at work at that same time just a week ago.
- Go to your parents’ house because you don’t know what else to do with your time.
- Convince your mom to go shopping with you to spend the money you don’t have.
- Buy lots of Old Navy cardigans. Justify your purchase by saying you can wear them on job interviews.
- Justify your shoes purchase the same way.
- Eat lots of pancakes. Because pancakes are delicious.
- Go to ARRG practice.
- Go to an H2O show because you remember you don’t have to be up early for work.
- Sleep until 2 PM. Because why not? YOLO.
- Finally mosey out of bed and get online to forget why you got online.
- Remember why you’re online.
- Search for numerous volunteer opportunities online because you need something to keep your busy or else you know you’ll become a night owl who sleeps until 4 PM every day.
- Listen to Sleigh Bells’ album “Bitter Rivals” on repeat four times.
- Eat so many Golden Oreos that you become uncomfortable about admitting how many you actually ate.
- Sit on Reddit refreshing the same subreddit to see if anyone posted anything new for twenty minutes.
- End up reading a third of this Michael Cera article in the New Yorker.
- Debate if you should eat a late lunch, or early dinner. And then debate when it stops being a late lunch and rather an early dinner.
- Go to practice.
- Come home and watch Netflix because you have lost all meaning in your life apparently in two days of unemployment.
As someone who tends to keep a pretty packed schedule I’m seemingly overwhelmed with the new amount of free-time I have on my hands. I figure if I don’t have a new job by mid-January I will either join the crew on a cruise ship or fulfill my long-time dream of being a flight attendant. Preferably I’d like to be landlocked here in St. Louis a little longer, but we’ll see where the winds take me.
If you would like to save me from a surplus of free-time and need a copywriter, social media coordinator—even a roller girl—please do not hesitate to reach out to let me know how you can help me, help you.