With my week of no-social media drawing closer, it makes me mildly fearful, anxious, and excited to know how I will react. My boyfriend thinks I’ll go crazy, my roommate thinks she might go crazy, and I just have no clue what I think about it. But it made me start thinking about how ridiculous some of my fears are in the process. Does a week left out in the wilderness without any technology (flashlight, grill, etc.) scare the shit out of me? Yes. So a week just without social media (well any internet really) shouldn’t drive me to the brink of insanity… I think it shouldn’t at least.
But I am a Taurus and because of that I have been born nothing short of stubborn, so I won’t back down from this challenge… But I will admit I might back-down if it involves any of these other fears of mine:
- Spiders… Well, Toilet-Dwelling Spiders. I once heard a myth about a breed of spiders that liked to nest underneath the rim of a toilet bowl; only sprouting up to bite an unsuspecting victim when essentially they moon them with their pale asses (see: sit on el’ toilet-o). After hearing this story I tried to avoid going to the bathroom as long as I could, but one can only hold a 32 oz. Mountain Dew in their system for so long. I also scream like a little girl at 20 when I see a spider outside of a toilet too, which is why I could never be a Fear Factor contestant.
- Dying Unbeknownst to All: They say dying alone is one of the biggest fears in our society. It is not necessarily dying alone that scares me (and if you don’t want to die alone, be sure to drink the kool-aid—you can die with everyone!). But rather dying and nobody knowing, I’m afraid of dying and my body decomposing in some place or another for weeks before anyone found out. I at least want to be able to have an open-casket funeral; nobody wants to look at my rotting flesh from baking in the sun for two weeks at my last-hoorah.
Side note: Not sure if that also constitutes as dying alone.
- Ordering Take-Out Food from the Phone: I’m a switchboard operator and I cannot order food via phone. My brother can attest to this – He’s been ordering all of our Chinese food, pizza, and everything else since we were kids. I also couldn’t answer the door for the pizza man until I was at least 16. I stepped up to this challenge once during my first internship where I had to order lunch for the bossman. Fortunately I kept my anxiety under control and never had to order him food again.
- Driving over bodies of water (boats excluded): I have accepted the fact that I’m not Jesus and therefore I can’t walk on water. In that fact that I’m not Jesus also means I will die without being resurrected and in such am capable of drowning. I think my fear of driving over water worsened after the Minneapolis bridge collapse (driving over water = driving on bridges). Suffocating and drowning in a car underwater? Two of my least favorite ways to die packed into one. Maybe if I die this way the universe will showcase its fine taste in irony by playing that one Armor for Sleep song on the radio.
Breaking my nose: Sure this must sound a little vain. But I have a wee little elfin nose that I’ve come to be quite fond of over the years. If you catch me from my profile it curves up just the slightest! Break any other bone but that one, please. I try to avoid any blunt objects to the face area for this sheer reason. Also could be considered a fear of having a weird and/or irregularly shaped nose.
I have many fears I didn’t list here (like going blind), but whatever the reason may be, many of my fears revolve around the idea of death. My Aunt says it is because I was raised Catholic, a religion that likes to focus on death and how we need to behave now on Earth or repent for our sins in Hell. But I’d like to think that they all wrap up into a fear of the unknown (or that I watch too many morbid movies).
Do you have any fears you’re not afraid of admitting to?