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09/14/2011 · 11:20 am

I Will Survive: A Week Without Social Media

I took a week off from social media and I didn’t go crazy. For that I deserve some kind of prize, like free Facebook credits or a gold star sticker on my forehead. Going cold turkey from social media for me was like telling a nail biter they had to keep those phalanges away from their pearly whites. It is hard to kick a habit you consciously sometimes don’t realize you’re partaking in.

By day 3 I finally realized that the easiest way to resist the temptation is to delete all the easy-access applications and bookmarks to your favorite social media sites. Not being able to just click the Twitter application on my Android phone’s homescreen made my compulsive clicking (repeatedly hitting a login screen) next to nothing. Not having quick-access to these sites on my phone or browser made it much easier to resist. I have a habit of clicking just to click; this solved that problem real quick.

I can’t lie though, I meant to go social media-free since August and it wasn’t until I was going through a rough patch with the guy I’m dating that I had the motivation to kick the habit full-out. For anyone going through a break-up, rough patch, whatever… Hear me out–go MIA on your favorite social media networks (like right now)–it’ll help you avoid the urge to post “Debbie Downer” statuses or tweets AND it’ll keep your eyes away from you-know-who’s personal networks. While the internet stores an awesome wealth of self-help sites and motivational quotes, songs, or speeches on YouTube for the tender hearted—let’s face it—nobody wants to see your pity party all over their news feed. In all honesty, when you’re feeling down the best thing to do is focus on yourself rather than crafting the ultimate 140-character tweet to make it seem like your life is awesome when it isn’t (seriously, that isn’t good for you).

Results of my experiment:

I really missed tweeting out dumb thing my classmates do or say (like the infamous “pissblanket”), I actually started writing things down in my notebook that I would have usually tweeted out.
I was out of the loop with news. I was the last to know about Steve Jobs stepping down I’m pretty sure.
I focused more on the relationships at hand for the week, rather than juggling online conversations while hanging out with someone.
I realized sometimes I almost feel an obligation to be active on social media. To cut it out was a little therapeutic. I wasn’t tweeting or taking photos of what I was doing, but rather taking a part in it. I saw the world through my eyes, and not a camera lens like I sometimes tend to do.
I missed using Twitter more than Facebook.
I made more phone calls and texted my friends more, rather than finding someone on Facebook chat or Twitter to kill my time with, and in such I spent more time with my friends and strengthened some of those relationships with people I didn’t know too well yet.
I almost felt bad when I couldn’t tweet out about how awesome this restaurant Smashburger was (delicious!)
I did a ridiculous amount of online shopping this week, I still don’t know if that is in correlation with anything.
Since getting back into the social media game, I’ve been less active. Oh damn, there goes my Klout score.

Overall I think I would do another social media free week. Oddly enough, I was approached by a professor to discuss the benefits of using social media during my supposed week free from it. Trying to explain certain features of Facebook and then backing it up with “I’d show you right now, but I don’t have a Facebook currently,” makes for a confused 50-something-man left with vague ideas of what I’m trying to explain. Hopefully the next time around I won’t have that problem, and hopefully next time my reason for going SM-free will be because I’m too busy vacationing in a tropical wonderland. (Unfortunately, that’s probably not going to happen.)

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Tagged as addiction, breakup, cold turkey, college, dating, facebook, social media, twitter

12/02/2010 · 5:25 am

My Dating Life Consists of Pixels.

Right now I’m sitting here, occasionally glancing over at my phone which continuously keeps glowing in attempts to alert me of any new text messages. Unsurprisingly they’re from my “friend.” Of course I put friend in quotation marks because that’s what he wants to be. That’s what he texted me last night, you know, the over-cliché line “I think we’d be better off as friends.” But luckily for me, with a text message I can look and reply at my leisure and unluckily for him, he had swiftly set himself at the bottom of the priority level due to his choice of communication.

Flirting through smiley faces? Real smooth.

So mind you, before I was up and staring aimlessly at my sweet glow-in-the-dark star collection on my ceiling I was sleeping soundly in my bed. Obviously as a student I should have been in class, but I had the bright idea the night before to go swimming at the gym. Awesome idea, everyone loves swimming. But most people don’t love walking outside in a wet swimming suit and a pea coat in 25 degree weather. And thus I was lodged up in my bed for the day, sick as a dog. Obviously most people can’t text in their sleep (I’m sure there’s the few that can). So thus he took my lack of response as ignoring him, igniting in angry texts.

So my “friend” here lives within walking distance of me. How convenient for any impromptu hang-sessions that we both attend class and live on the same university campus. Unsurprisingly though, instead of walking over to my side of the campus, he opts for text messaging to communicate like most of our college peers. Most of my communication with my friends and acquaintances has taken a backseat when it comes to face to face communication. Most of my hellos and “how are you doing?” conversations are now consistent of pixels rather than vocal vowels and consonants. Without seeing someone in person I’m left with myself to draw conclusions and infer meanings. I’m someone who has a very expressive face. So unfortunately things like my witty banter and sarcasm are usually lost in translation (and trying to explain out a joke to someone is NOT fun).

The "Facebook Stalk" usually results in a semi-vegetative state due to the intake of useless knowledge.

Our Facebook profiles act as resumes for our dating lives, our foursquare accounts let everyone know where we spend most of our time and where we currently are residing on the map. Twitter allows quick access to all of our inner ramblings for the curious friend/stranger/estranged family member. It isn’t uncommon to be conversing and having someone say, “Oh yeah! I saw that on your Facebook.” I am Facebook friends with some people I graduated high school with. Sure, I haven’t spoken to them in two or three years but I can still tell you what they have been up to lately due to my ~~stalker~~ news feed. We come into new friendships and relationships now with a miniscule bubble of prior knowledge by looking at someone’s social media presence. A bubble of knowledge that most people judge you over.

My most intimate friendships are with those who I see frequently, or talk to verbally more than digitally. I suppose at the end of the day, I just crave a physical presence from someone instead of seeing pixels spewed across my screen…. And I want to see the empathy in someone’s eyes when they say “this isn’t working out.